She wanted to exit an abusive relationship. She ended up being arrested


WARNING: This story contains details of intimate couple violence and can affect those who have experienced or know someone who has done it.

A woman with a new Scotland who was in an abusive relationship says that the death of six women in the province in the last three months has left her with feelings of pain, anger and hopelessness.

The woman appeared to CBC News to share her own history of intimate couple violence, and her experience with the justice system that felt that she disappointed her.

For its safety and privacy, CBC agreed to use the June pseudonym to identify it.

“I really just want to help and add my voice to call calls,” said June in a recent interview. “I don’t see things happen, I don’t see the reaction that is necessary to deal with an epidemic level problem.”

And that, he said, “makes me feel a lot of pain and a lot of anger, and desperate.”

A feeling of growing fear

June said the relationship with his ex was “incredibly great” at the beginning.

“I was bathing, affection, praise,” he recalled. “I was reflecting some of the things I had said that I wanted in a return partner. I was bombing my love.”

But in six months, June felt something was wrong.

There were heated fights, followed by weeks of reconciliation when he recognized again the person who had fallen in love.

“I did not understand, often, what was happening,” he said.

“I would sit there and be really confused, like, where and how we got here, how did it intensify so fast and why can’t this stop?”

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She and her ex entered a cycle of breaking and being together again, and he moved to her department.

June said he told his ex that some of the things he was doing made her fear, but that she did not stop doing so.

She said she would follow her in the room and stop on her, shouting. He threatened to commit suicide if she left, which made her feel responsible for her safety.

A smiling woman with an orange shirt is next to a man
Corelee (Alisha) Smith and her father, Bradford (Coy) Downey, are seen in a photo without date. The couple received a deadly shot on December 31, 2024, hours before the woman’s boyfriend was found dead of a self -inflicted gunshot wound. (Facebook)

She said one day was sitting while he shouted and gestured in an aggressive way.

“And he said: ‘Well, he would never hit you’, and then he simply imitated me,” he said. “But he put his hand beyond my head and towards the wall.”

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June said he finally asked his ex to move. But she said he refused to go and catch her in her apartment, on the way when she tried to leave.

She said that night that she went to pack her things, and he grabbed her in a strangulator and threw her back on the bed. The argument continued and she tried to escape.

“At that moment I threw my arms and pushed him to get him away from me,” he said. “He was blocking my way. But I pushed him. And I stood up and went to his room to start packing his things, because he had ended.”

June said his ex grabbed her and pushed her to the door frame, trying to prevent her from touching her belongings.

A woman with dark hair smiles at the camera.
Nicole Murphy, 49, was killed by her 58 -year -old partner at her Yarmouth home on November 1, 2024. (Presented by the Murphy family)

She decided to leave the apartment herself. She said when she left the building that he called the police, saying that she had pushed him.

The officers arrived and questioned it, but June said he did not understand what was happening.

“Until the moment they started reading my rights, I thought they were there to help me,” he said.

“I didn’t understand that they were going to arrest me … and at that moment I felt so betrayal, so much shame.”

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June told the police that her ex was abusive and that she had been defending after he grabbed her and held her. He was also arrested.

She was accused of assault, and he was accused of assault and forced confinement.

Both went through the judicial system and signed a peace bonus. The charges against both were removed by the crown.

Disappointment with the justice system

She said she agreed to sign a peace bond because she felt it was the best option to get out of the situation.

June said that a deep disappointment in the justice system has been left.

“Once an arrest is made, especially in an incident of domestic violence, what happens after that does not depend on me,” he said. “As a victim, you are stripped of your voice.”

Like many provinces, Nueva Scotia has a pro-arrest and pro-cargo policy, which means that only crown prosecutors can withdraw charges. The police cannot withdraw charges if the victim requests it.

When this policy was implemented in the 1990s, it was intended to help obtain sentences to keep the safest victims of abusers.

June is critical of politics.

“It really seemed that I continued and perpetuated exactly the same as the abusive relationship made by removing my voice, taking out power, taking away the ability to choose or have control over the situation,” he said.

The woman smiles for the camera.
Brenda Tatlock-Burke, 59, was killed by her husband, a retired Mountie on October 18, 2024. (Tara Graham)

CBC asked the Provincial Justice Department if it is discussions about the replacement of mandatory and loading policies with new guidelines, which was a recommendation of the Casualas Massas Commission in 2023.

A spokesman for the department said the government is committed to advancing in the recommendations.

“Violence is never acceptable,” they wrote. “If a crime has been committed, we hope the law will be maintained.”

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June asked government officials to increase their response to the violence of the intimate couple.

“We deserve better. We deserve more,” he said.

“We deserve emergency measures, money, financing, capacity, resources, transparency and communication on what they plan to do.”

The province has said that it is taking measures, including the increase in funds for transition homes for those who escape violent relationships.

June has left the relationship with his ex now and there is no more contact.

Message to other women

She wants other women in similar situations to realize that they deserve love and are not responsible for being abused.

“I would really like them to know that, although at this time they may not like them very much or love each other,” he said.

“I love them, although I will never see them.”

For any person affected by the violence of the family or the intimate couple, there is support available through local lines and services. If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, call 911.

If you or someone you know are fighting, this is where to get help:

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