Just a few days before New Year’s Eve, Alicia Arritt received an unexpected text message from her ex-boyfriend, a decorated American special forces soldier named Matthew Livelsberger.
The couple had not been in contact since 2022. Now, Livelsberger was asking her if she was single. They exchanged some light-hearted text messages over the next few days, and then Livelsberger started sending photos and videos of a Tesla Cybertruck he said he rented.
“It’s the s**t,” he wrote on New Year’s Eve morning, according to messages shared with NBC News. “I feel like Batman or Halo.”
“How fast is it?” he asked.
“Ungodly,” he replied.
They continued texting into the evening, and Livelsberger gave no indication that she was planning anything drastic.
It wasn’t until two days later, when FBI agents showed up at Arritt’s home, that she learned the painful truth: Livelsberger, 37, had shot himself inside the Tesla seconds before it exploded in front of the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas. on New Year’s Day.
“They actually asked me if I wanted to see the video of his death,” Arritt said in an interview. “It was horrible to hear about it.”
Investigators are still working to definitively determine what led Livelsberger to commit suicide. He was a sergeant major in the US Army’s elite special forces unit and a resident of Colorado Springs.
At a news conference Friday afternoon, law enforcement officials said they found writings on Livelsberger’s phone that described the country’s leadership as “weak” and the United States as “terminally ill and headed toward collapse.” .
“This was not a terrorist attack,” one of the letters said. “It was a wake-up call.”
Officials added that the investigation determined, in consultation with the Army, that Livelsberger likely suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and that investigators are aware that there were possible “family problems or personal grievances in his own life that may have been contributing factors.”
Arritt, speaking to NBC News before Friday’s news conference, said she had no idea what was behind her ex-boyfriend’s death.
“I’ve been thinking about it for two days. “I don’t understand it,” he said. “He was always very brave. So whatever he thought he was doing, I bet he thought he was brave.”
The couple dated on and off for three years starting in 2018. They bonded over their love of the outdoors. They also had military service in common. Arritt had been an Army nurse and had worked at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.
As their relationship continued, it became clear to him that Livelsberger was struggling with the injuries he suffered in the military. He had two back surgeries during his skydiving days and also suffered brain injuries that he kept hidden from his superiors, Arritt said.
“We talked about it a little bit, but I think he was embarrassed,” she said. “Embarrassed by memory loss and head injuries. He was unable to seek treatment while still on active duty. “He was worried that if he did it, it would affect his career.”
Livelsberger also had headaches and trouble concentrating, he said.
“He managed very well for a long time when I met him,” she said. “I had such a deep well of inner strength that I was drawing from. And I just can’t believe he’s gone.”
But at one point in their relationship, he failed to make it through an “advanced school” the military had sent him to, Arritt said, and that “really destroyed him.”
“He was a super smart guy,” he said. “He was always careful in everything he did. “I was always planning and analyzing things.”
He said he didn’t have particularly strong political opinions, but he loved his country.
“He was not a blind patriot,” he said. “He thought about what he believed in and thought the government had done some things wrong too, but he loved his country and he loved his people.”
After their breakup, Livelsberger married a second time. Arritt said he still held him in high regard even though they lost contact until the last days of his life.
“I could have accomplished so many wonderful things,” he said. “He had a deep empathy for other people. “He had so much military experience that he could have used it in the world.”
